Sharon and I emailed early December. We were writing about shifting homes. She has lived everywhere and anywhere for the last 15 years…a veritable rolling stone. I had wondered how she coped with all her moves. How did one nurture old relationships and invest in the new, I asked. She offered no clears answers. Said she had been thinking “about people whose primary identity is tribal, and will always be tribal, and land-based, as opposed to the identities of those who are not land-based.” This idea has resonated with me. What matters…home, community? How are people wired? How am I wired?

I wondered if we all weren’t, in fact, tribal. And, the lone traveler an anomaly of the system. Even nomads travel in groups, so while they may not be land-based, they are still tribal. Or, is there some character trait that predisposes one towards a tribe and another less so. Is it the community/tribe that makes one complete or are we complete unto ourselves? Do some need a “tribe” more than others?

Recently I joined Facebook. People from high school have contacted me. And, even more surprising folks who grew up in my neighborhood, lived on the same street. As I’ve been invited to become a “friend,” I’ve been struck again by this idea of community. While not its sole purpose, it seems Facebook serves to link people back to their tribe. It feeds that human need to feel a connection to a group.

After having been away from Houston for one year, I sit in my New Zealand home and reflect even more on the idea of the tribe. There is no doubt that I am living in one of the most beautiful places I have ever been. Yet, there is also no doubt that I left behind an incredible community. Within that inner loop circle, I felt a definite sense of being part of something bigger than just a group of friends. It was tribal and it made me feel complete.

I am certain a “cyber” tribe, be it Facebook or email, can never replace the real deal. Nothing can replace a spontaneous Friday night gatherings at Valhalla’s. Nothing can replace knocking on neighbor John’s door for a cup of flour. A tribe requires people you can touch and look in the eye. It requires both stability and interchangeability.And, in modern times, tribes require a little magic.

I am confident that, should we decide to stay, we could become a part of a new tribe. We’ve made friends; little roots are sprouting. I am just not certain, then, what becomes of the old tribe. I find it very hard to turn my back on a community I so thoroughly enjoyed. I don’t know if living in a beautiful place is a substitute for living amongst the beautiful folks of Houston.



………Oh well, we’ve signed our lease for another year. Fortunately we have time to wrestle with these questions. Peace and love in 2009.